Although he's quite friendly, his foes find him ruthless
Teuthis!
He's spineless and boneless, neckless and toothless
Teuthis!
To science he's merely a cephalopod
But to thousands worldwide he's a miniature god
He drinks Captain Morgan and eats Red-Hot Riplets
And strokes the remote with his tentacle tiplets
Through time and space, his body is hurled
In his pulpy embrace he holds half the world
Teuthis!
You can’t Pay-Per-View this!
He slides under doors with amusing uncouthness
Teuthis!
He’s deaf, so to him, this music is useless
Teuthis!
In the depths of the oceans he wrestles with whales
In Japanese restaurants his flesh is for sale
He wears 4 pairs of pants, 8 boots and no gloves
He turns neon pink when he falls in love
Wednesdays he works as an elephant’s pessary
And he’s got more doubloons than a Timbuctoo treasury
Teuthis!
